The Bruces' Philosophers Song
by Eric Idle
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Niezsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will on half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Plato they say could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, and Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And René Descartes was a drunken fart. "I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
